Navel Gaze

My sleep patterns have gone wonky. Proof of this is that I am writing this at 06:50 am and there is no need for me to be awake at any specific time today.

I’m still off work after my op last week. My face aches still and I have a constant headache. I also keep feeling dizzy. Happy days, eh?

So anyway, I discovered Unicorns for Socalism yesterday. It could possibly have the best name of any website I’ve ever visited ever. Well if someone with a site with a name as cool as Unicorns for Socialism (and the design is pretty brilliant too) can do a ’25 things about me’ post, I thought I would too. I’m bored, you see?

So, here we go. It’s actually a bit of an a-z of my neurosis, but hey ho! When you’re done reading why don’t you tell me 25 things about you. Or less if you prefer. Or more if you fancy.

Laura x

1 – The weirdest compliment I ever received was “you have the smoothest arm pits I’ve ever seen”

2 – The worst chat up line ever used on me was “do you want to come back to Barking, so I can shag you” (No I didn’t!)

3 – My earliest memory is a fireworks party that my neighbours held when I was five. I was terrified of the fireworks and I still have an irrational fear of them, and other things that make a loud noise. My fear of loud noises is so bad that I can’t even pull Christmas crackers and if people pop balloons near me I’m likely to shriek or run away.

4 – I have had my stomach pumped. When I was born I couldn’t hold down milk. The hospital found out that I’d swallowed some amniotic something or other and it was stuck in my stomach. They pumped my stomach and I’ve not stopped eating since.

5 – I can’t read music, despite having violin lessons, cello lessons, drum lessons and recorder lessons when I was younger.

6 – I have texture issues. If my hands get too dry it makes me feel funny as does having stuff on my hands – I don’t do much baking for this reason. The texture of ice (including people biting ice lollies) also makes me feel funny. I must always have lip balm to hand.

7 – I often feel the urge to do things that I never actually would (or would actually want to) because I wonder what it would be like. Examples: shouting profanities very loudly in a public place, eating raw chicken or keying a car.

8 – I have a BTEC National Diploma in Performing Arts. I really wanted to be an actor and appear in musicals for a while but crippling stage fright (and frankly a lack of talent) put pay to that. My stage fright was so bad that I’d get tonsillitis every single time I was due to perform in a show.

9 – I have almost no attachment to ‘things’. I don’t keep things for sentimental reasons and regularly throw things away or give them to charity shops without thinking twice. My only possession that I’d be devastated to loose is my camera.

10 – People often comment that I have a firm handshake.

11 – My favourite place in the whole world is bed. I feel safe under my duvet.

12 – I sleep with a fan on and a window open, even in the middle of winter. The noise of the fan comforts me and I can’t sleep in airless room. I also can’t sleep unless I’m tightly wrapped in a duvet or sheet.

13 – I do not get on with winter. I hate the cold, rain is evil and I suffer with some sort of seasonal affected disorder. I do not understand people that manage to look well groomed in the winter. I would rather wear 50 layers of clothes than look well turned out.

14 – I started getting night terrors at the age of 12. This is quite unusual, as it’s usually only younger children that get them. I don’t get them any more but I do occasionally sleep walk or talk a lot of rubbish in my sleep. A couple of years ago I was staying at a friend’s and I went sleep walking in the night. I knocked on her neighbours flat whilst wearing only a t-shirt and a pair of knickers and demanded that they let me in. That was embarrassing.

15 – Continuing the theme of sleep; I do not sleep well. I suffer with periodic bouts of insomnia and I tend to wake up in the night a lot. I have felt tired my whole life.

16 – I like my steak rare and bloody but I won’t eat black pudding.

17 – Although I’ve flirted with Buddhism and other spiritual practices in the past, I now consider myself to be an atheist. I want to believe in something but I can never quite suspend my disbelief.

18 – I sometimes talk to myself, when no one else is around. I find myself particularly entertaining to talk to when drunk.

19 – If I won the lottery tomorrow I’d pack a bag and travel around the world for a bit then come back and go back to university to study photography full time. I’d also keep photographing weddings on the side.

20 – I’m fairly sure that I don’t want children but when you tell people that you don’t want children they don’t believe you, they tell you that you’ll change your mind or they say “you’ll feel different when you’re married”. I find this astounding. I am 31 and I know my own mind and being married is unlikely to change it. The only thing that is likely to change it is a massive, insane hormonal surge that makes me go crazy broody. I haven’t had such feelings up to this point so I’m not sure it’s ever going to happen.

21 – I am, inherently, a massive slob and I’m also not very organised. I have strategies in place to counter act these natural tendencies (lists and lists and lists) which mean most people would never know that I’m not very organised. I have also trained myself not to be messy but I do regress from time to time.

22 – Of all the Seven Deadly Sins I am probably most guilty of gluttony

23 – I believe that life is too short to wear high heels. They are not comfortable, if you needed to make a run for it you couldn’t and they give you bunions. Seriously, what’s the point?! I do own a couple of pairs of low heels but nothing higher than 2.5 inches and I’d still rather be in my flats. For my wedding I’m thinking about crystal covered Converse. Seriously.

24 – I am terrible at small talk. I would rather stay silent if there is nothing meaningful or interesting to say. I particularly hate the “so what do you do” question as it usually means what job do you do. It’s sad that people define themselves by their jobs. By all means ask me what I do but don’t ask me what I do as the very first thing you ever ask me. Ask me about my favourite type of cake.

25 – My favourite type of cake is chocolate cake but any cake will do.

4 thoughts on “Navel Gaze

    • Ahh, see the thing with me is that I could never really read music. Even when I was learning. For some reason I just couldn’t grasp it. I was rubbish at every instrument I tried to learn.

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