Ups and Downs

Last week I started writing a draft blog post about some of the great feedback I’d received.

I had a really good week last week – I had a wedding featured on Rock My Wedding, I had several enquiries for bookings next year and I had some very complimentary feedback from a wedding photographer whose work I really admire and from a fine-art photographer/ photography lecturer at one of the most prestigious uk art schools.

This week I don’t feel so positive. I’m really, really tired after my first full week back at work after my operation, followed by a wedding on Saturday.

I second shot Saturday’s wedding for another photographer and I really enjoyed it but I didn’t get many ‘money’ shots. Second shooting is a funny business as the main photographer leads on getting most of the important shots, because it’s their wedding. This is absolutely the way it should be.

As the second shooter, reviewing my shots, I was underwhelmed. Whilst I got many candid shots that I’m pleased with, there’s something missing.

I couldn’t really put my finger on it until today but I’ve realised that what’s missing is the ‘wow’ shots of the bride and groom and of course this is because the main photographer was in charge of this bit.

Irrespective of the reasons and whether it’s justified, feeling a bit underwhelmed by your own work sets off that nagging little voice in your head.

Most people undertaking any type of creative work tend to be plagued with self-doubt. Am I good enough? That person’s work is so much better than mine etc and this was an issue that I had to face this weekend after shooting with a photographer that’s so much more experienced and, frankly, in a different league than I am.

I know this is a journey, not a destination. I’ll never get to the stage where I’m 100% happy with my own work because there’s always something to learn. And I know that I constantly need to strive to improve and grow and develop.

The photographer I shot with last weekend told me they’re now at the stage when they don’t ever doubt the quality of their own work from their clients perspective but they strive to constantly improve it to meet their own high expectations.

I do still have the odd doubt about whether I’m good enough or whether this is the right path to take but I don’t know if that’s more about my personality and self-esteem issues than my photography?

When I look at how far I’ve come in the last year I am really proud of myself. I guess I need to learn to ignore that nagging voice and focus more on how I can constantly improve and grow.

Laura x

3 thoughts on “Ups and Downs

  1. We all feel like that from time to time, I guarantee it. It’s part of running a business selling you and your talent (which you have bucket loads of, for the record) it’s going to make you feel amazing and it’s going to make you feel like utter crap from time to time. For what it’s worth I find that the down times are fewer and farther between than they were a few months ago.

    Have some chocolate and snuggle up with some Star Trek and don’t be hard on yourself, you’re doing brilliantly.

  2. The second shooter may be there both to get companion shots and also to keep the first shooter on their toes (making them a sharp shooter ?). As far as I’m concerned, you’re good at both.

  3. Keep going, I think you’ve done amazingly well and I wish I had half your courage. I’d love to do the same thing but I’m not sure if I’m as brave as you…it’s very personal being creative! A friend asked me to do her wedding this summer and I said no, partly because I was taken up with being stressed about preparing for my own wedding and more because I’m nowhere near good enough or ready for that. So I salute you again lady – go forth! 🙂

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